Across the Universe

So I guess I'm just human....I make mistakes.

I should probably stop being so hard on myself. I need to be ok with really fucking up sometimes; I just need to keep learning from it. Everything will end up fine in the end...it always does.

Plus I should really give myself more credit when it comes to my relationship with Matt. This after all is my first real attempt at one and it has always been long distance from the beginning. We were bound to have our bad days and for the most part they really are few and far between. Considering my usual trust issues with the male population I think I've done all right in this. Maybe its because there really is something there...something meaningful and potentially timeless. I try to downplay what we have because so many relationships fall apart and I feel like I don't always deserve this...but maybe I do and maybe we won't fall apart. And if we do...then it was just where life was suppose to take me. I really want to just go with the flow and let fate take its course with me. Granted I realize my actions always have consequences but still....what happens happens and so far things are going well.

What if this really is the real deal...I avoided thinking about that concept for so long but after two years is it a thought I should continue to avoid or perhaps take in a little at a time...? I'm glad he will be here tomorrow!